I sit in my sofa chair all day watching Jersey Shore - No Judging!
I nurse my three week old son as I sit, or just hold him in my arms as he falls asleep between feedings. I feel his little head sweating in the nook of my arm, and I move him from one arm to the other with the smoothest of movements that it would make James Bond jealous of how sly I was. I wipe down the sweat on my arm his little head left on me.
My husband walks through the door; I'm relieved to see him. He walks toward me to kiss my head and I lean away.
I'm not angry with him, quite the opposite. I'm excited for him to take the baby so I can finally make a sandwich and go pee.
As he takes the baby from my arms, he tries to kiss me again. I turn my head and start walking down the hallway.
What the hell is wrong with me?! I love him, I know I love him...well, at least I think I do. I'm so tired and I don't know if I feel anything else. He says nothing, he doesn't try again. We go about our day.
space and to be left alone; the thought of family and friends hugging me made my stomach queasy.
Eventually I was better. It took some time. I even went to my husband for a hug, and a smooch.
But it's okay to be touched out. As new moms, we experience a whole new set of feelings and if touch is one that is too much, it's okay to take a break. Maybe be better than me and just tell your partner "I'm touched out, but I love you." It will help name the emotion/action, and help your partner through the transition as well.
Alexia the Doula
Birth Doula, Childbirth Educator & Postpartum Doula serving Minneapolis, St Paul and the greater Twin Cities area.